First of all I want to tell you…I GOT A JOB!!! I haven’t had one since last March and I am SO ready. Everyone needs a purpose and getting paid for said purpose is even better. I will be working for a marketing firm, in customer service ,which I am good at. I also will be working with Bare Escentuals cosmetics which I LOVE! I love make-up in general but this is even better- because it’s my favorite make-up. I was told I get free stuff to play with too. I start next week, and I’m elated!
Getting a job is wonderful, but it is also the official start of a new life for me. I like the idea of being responsible for just me. Lots of people have shaped me but it is my season to do some self-sculpting. I am feeling excited in a way I haven’t felt for a long, long time. I lost who I was for a while, and then I volunteered to lose weight. New for me. I am usually kicking and screaming NO! You can’t make me. Then I realized…Oh, it’s for me.
I have more energy, I’m feeling more confident, blah, blah, blah. Trite but true. I have been dancing around getting older, because of my job search. We are in tough times and I have resented the fact that I had to hide my age. I like my age and I’m in good company. I am getting used to my dyed hair. It’s taken some practice though. My friends are tired of me asking “you sure my hair doesn’t look like Wayne Newton”? I’ve never been focused this much on my appearance.
A couple weeks after seeing my “new” hair a male friend told me I looked 10 years younger with it dyed. I mentally punched myself in the arm because I’ve been driving myself crazy thinking I did it for nothing. The irony here is that dyeing my hair had nothing to do with me getting the job. Another life experience that has turned into an opportunity.
Of course as soon as I got this job, I found out another job I want is still on the table, and I was told to expect an interview next week. I’ve been gloating with the satisfaction of feeling successful. In a job search that is. When you are willing to accept what is, you open yourself to what could be around the corner. I have been practicing what IS for longer than I’d like. Success can be elusive. I have finally found comfort in my what if’s? I decided to turn them into why not’s?