I get this on so many levels. I am packing up my stuff again and returning my room to it’s guest bed status. I am excited about going back to my old home town and being near my son again. We have missed each other and weren’t ready to be multiple states away. That’s life. We talked about that this week and realize that the transfer to Iowa was a huge catalyst for SO much change for our whole family. We are still adjusting but we have all grown emotionally too. Trite as it sounds. Moving isn’t just about changing your physical location. Whether it be physically or emotionally, it’s necessary for a high quality life. Something big took place for me last week and I feel different inside. I’m ready to make more big changes and start working on physical issues, changing my outside to fit my inside. I am more willing to dive in the deep end of the water and try new things. I feel fearless. Wow! All from moving, and moving, and moving.
I’m looking forward to connecting with old friends and making new ones, perusing familiar libraries (although they’ve been remodelled) and watching the happy ghosts of my kids childhoods. I’m not looking forward to a job search again but it doesn’t feel as daunting on familiar turf. There are horrendous forrest fires going on in the foothills of Fort Collins right now. Thousands of pristine forrests that I took for granted are now gone. Old neighbors in the mountains where I used to live have been evacuated. These are not your typical residents. Mountain people (and NO I’m not talking Deliverance) are an independent, self- reliant breed and don’t leave their sacred homes easily. I wish them well in their displacement and find it hard to believe I will be joining them soon, again. I’m not the same person who left Fort Collins four years ago next month.
I am very excited at spending two full days at Lincoln Beach with my son and niece next weekend. I love the ocean and miss it terribly. I’ve been land locked for a long time so this is a rare treat. Portland is a wonderful city and Oregon has so much to offer. I’ve found nothing but kindness here with all the Oregonians I’ve met. I’m still impressed with how most of them drive the speed limit. They revel in keeping Portland “weird” and I have to agree with them, I find it wonderfully weird. It is hard to leave. I will miss Bianca, (I want a dog now…yeah right) and all her adorable little quirks. I’ll miss my leafy trail (I’ll get a picture for you), and my friends T. and B. who provided the environment for this transformation, I will miss seeing all of T’s new jewlery samples and I will actually miss the iced-tea maker I hated in the beginning. I will sorely miss my niece but am committed to visiting as often as possible. I see airplane tickets in her future. I’ve learned a lot in the few months I’ve been here. It has been a worthwhile journey that in many ways feels like it’s just beginning. I’m moving towards something new even though it’s old.