Life Is

Standard

The glorious sun is out today. I see a long walk in my future. I finally was able to send a job app last night after days of frustration. I had done it so many times I had it memorized and my wrist hurt. My old laptop has issues it seems, and doesn’t like the new software that was loaded. It better get used to it, if I have to, it has to!  I’m taking an on-line class and I need it’s cooperation. I also got notice yesterday that I was passed over for a position I applied for when I first arrived. I thought I’d at least get an interview out of this one so it was very disappointing. I’m not devastated but definitely bummed. It may be time to expand my job horizon from just a library focus-but that makes me even sadder. You have to do what you gotta do. I’d like to stay here.

My son is coming from Ft. Collins for a visit soon and will be here for a few days. He asked me to go back with him and stay for a couple weeks and look for a job in the city that both my kids were born. If I’m unemployed I’ve decided to go. The beauty of the internet is you can apply for jobs anywhere. I’ll have two local addresses to reference so I might as well improve my odds.

I’ve become numb to moving. I take that back; I’ve become used to moving. It’s not nearly as terrifying or difficult emotionally when you do it a lot.  You adapt and deal.

I’ve grown in ways I didn’t think possible. I’m proud of myself.

The trappings of success are expensive and it takes very little to be happy.

 

When I found out FH and I were moving to Iowa without my son (at 17) I felt like I was asked to do the impossible. I had to do what was best for him and not me. Instinctively, I knew it was the right thing to do, and one of the hardest. I decided to leave Iowa and didn’t want to return to Ft. Collins because he was making a life for himself there and I was struggling to build mine.A parent doesn’t want their kids to see them struggle. We find it hard to hand over the illusions of parenthood in tough times. We are to provide, not need. Getting INVITED by my son changed my attitude. I’m looking forward to spending some time with my special son.

I have come to know that both my children will  learn more from my struggles. They know I am persistent. You have to take chances to get what you want. The irony now is that I had to leave my daughter in Iowa and the roles are reversed. She is older and more prepared to be on her own than my son was so it was easier to leave knowing that. Both my kids have made the transition beautifully, a huge compliment for a parent. They both have great support systems in place. A secret ingredient of the recipe.

I’m looking forward to the weekend. My niece, TC and I are traveling by train to downtown Portland Market tomorrow. I’ve heard about it since I arrived so looking forward to that, the train, and a day with my besties.

The Book Thief is amazing and I’m glad I committed to finishing it. Mr. Zusak is such a creative, young writer and throws all sorts of interesting twists of words in. I am in awe of that kind of gift. Using words, sentences in ways you never thought before.

Kind of like life.

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2 responses »

  1. I am very proud of you as well. In fact the three of us should all be proud of ourselves! I say way to go Johnson clan!

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